The Truth About Marriage in the Postmodern Age

There comes a moment when truth calls to us. We might be comatosed, too abysmally lost to hear it. Though like cabinets suddenly opening by themselves in a horror movie, the phenomenon can startle us. Most of us aren’t used to truth. Catch a glimpse of grim, unbearable truths and we clench our eyelids shut. While we slip under and fall into unconsciousness, we watch reruns of our comforting narratives:

  • People who don’t concede to my opinions are either dumb or evil
  • I cannot prove that he is prejudiced, but it’s patently false that he is not prejudiced
  • There’s plenty of evidence that she is right, but I won’t supply the proof because you can’t see the obvious

We weave our many narratives like strings, which forms a rope we use to hang reality. We might grow too invested in our fringe communities. We might escape the world and bury ourselves into obscure, dark corners of the Internet. Though by doing so, we miss our chance to answer truth’s call. Admittedly, it’s fun to play with ideas, hypothesize an imperfect world dissolving into a cruel dystopia. We like to see where our outlandish theories take us. We like to distill complex scenarios into an observable pattern and acquaint ourselves with unreachable facts. However, these theories may detract from our energy devoted to living in the now. I’m not advocating for the total elimination of theorizing or forming an idea of a shadowy, multilevel, compartmentalized group working toward world domination. I advance that the more time we devote to the 1969 moon landing, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, or the lost city of Atlantis, the less time we spend on responding to the world as it stands now. We tend to treat time as an infinite resource. We must catch ourselves doing this. We can use it more efficiently by asking ourselves more crucial, pressing questions. Is the world really this profoundly sick? Are we really heading toward where we want to be? And what is actually happening now?

Chastity, Trust, and Marriage

The holy sacrament of marriage is in danger of collapsing. We can’t be trusted with our word anymore. The vow, “Until death do us part,” currently translates to “Until I become unhappy.” This dishonesty reflects how self-indulgent we collectively came to be. We render our promises meaningless because we give pledges freely and without much thought. We must be honest with ourselves. What intelligent person enters into a binding contract with a person of questionable character? It’s foolish to trust those who are without honor. It’s foolish to depend on those who are easily swayed by temptation. The technological age of social media provides a wide array of men for women to choose from. Women undergo temptation’s greatest trials, and how they react to this oversupply of attention reveals who they really are. Since any slightest form criticism aimed at women is met with unending hostility, we can rely on statistics and facts to speak for us. Statistics have a certain quality. No sane person will accuse them of being sexist, racist, or xenophobic.

Women initiate most of the divorces, but marriages tend to be successful if spouses are chaste beforehand. Chastity produces long term benefits for not only individuals but society in general. The more sexual partners a woman collects in the name of “sexual liberation,” the less likely she will take part in a successful marriage. In other words, the least experienced woman has a greater chance at marital happiness. Wise people place great importance in the past. We incorporate past behavior into our decisions as we hire labor, loan money, or diagnose a medical condition. Logically, past behavior is a reliable predictor of future action. Being leery of an unchaste woman isn’t the equivalent of unwarranted paranoia or blatant sexism but only self-preservation and plain old common sense.

Men overall, I believe, have grown less trusting of women. For many women boredom or attention from other men is enough to place their loyalties somewhere else. For the titillation of the moment, they can uproot themselves from their families and alienate themselves from their spouses. They can disassemble their sacred vows by shifting blame onto everyone else but themselves. The no-fault divorce enables their reprehensible actions. Their group of friends might be a negative influence as well. Friends might persuade them to abandon all hope and divorce their husbands when the marriage shows any signs of difficulty. In their deluded minds, it wasn’t they that had broken the bonds of trust and commitment for a taste of thrilling decadence. On the other hand, those bonds might have never been formed. Women might feign trust and commitment and ruthlessly weaponize the act of marrying itself. Women often marry for citizenship, security, status, and luxury. More times than not, both men and women don’t understand that love isn’t a passive occurrence, like falling into a violent, hysterical bout of madness. Love isn’t lying prone and receptive on the couch in a vegetative state. Marriage and love require proactive work from both parties; one person cannot be responsible one, the faithful one, the romantic one, and the adventurous one for both people.

Single Parent Households and Crime

How do we carry on in a civilization of absent fathers and irresponsible mothers? The truth is that we don’t. Apparently, single parent households hold children at an extreme disadvantage because single parent families are undeniably connected to high crime rates. Such households have produced notorious, high profile criminals as well. Statistics link mass murderers to fatherless homes. How can we expect to raise the next generation if we cannot control our animalistic impulse to breed indiscriminately? How can we expect our children to make responsible choices if we ourselves have chosen our spouses poorly? If we choose to marry a spouse who commits infidelity or abuse, we aren’t at fault. We might not have absolutely deserved this betrayal, but we certainly could have avoided it. As a matter of fact, we are partially responsible. We select the people we associate with and as long as we allow corrupt people free reign in our personal lives, the corruption eventually seeps into our core being.

No one forced us to become intimate with these indecent types of people. We permitted the deplorables to draw us in and if we care anything about our integrity, we have to account for that. We must take responsibility for the people we choose to surround ourselves with. We also must reevaluate and change our society’s current downward trajectory. To be clear, this isn’t some lofty mission to save the world. We can only exact real change by cleaning up our own lives. If we rigorously vet those we intend to bond with, we stand a greater chance at having trustworthy and dependable friends and family. Although, who stands by their word anymore? Who doesn’t carelessly drop their loyalty when the relationship becomes inconvenient? This profoundly sick world is replete with dishonorable, selfish people, but is that enough to abandon all hope of finding the few people who are good on their word?